Kate McCann: Deep irony broadcast live on UK TV

Witness the true nature of Liz Truss, TalkTV and a case for Tom Cruise as anyone's PM

A lot of things of serious meaning are jam packed into a sub 30 second video clip.

1. Truss asserts with zero evidence that Russia will progress beyond Ukraine’s borders, pursuing invasive war in other nations.

2. Truss displays an unalloyed panic reaction at someone supposedly just fainting in front of her. Having witnessed fainting multiple times, it’s not a deeply traumatic event, but is by its nature somewhat surprising.

3. Truss also takes no action until she looks at someone else and takes a cue from their reactions, response or instruction.

4. She then moves with zero haste towards the casualty, which is not the reaction of anyone who is genuinely concerned with rendering aid to a casualty.

5. When the live video stream is censored, it is censored with a screen that says “Piers Morgan Uncensored”. This caused me to break into protracted laughter.

Watching this I was then struck by the thought, “What would Tom Cruise have done?”

I suspect that there’s a reasonable chance that Tom Cruise might have immediately shot straight towards McCann mid-faint, potentially preventing her face from contacting an object or the floor, before administering first aid. I base this on multiple displays of the man’s practical skillset and also this intense self-proclamation of the intent to act because “you’re the only one who can really help.”

I’m convinced that, were that censored “Piers Morgan Uncensored But Subsequently Actually Censored” broadcast reconstructed to feature the two puppets and this video of “Tom Cruise on Tom Cruise: Scientologist”, Cruise would be likely to win a landslide victory in anything, despite the 10 minute three bar loop of the Mission Impossible riff, which is akin to any other political sloganeering in itself, and irrespective of what anyone thinks or knows about Scientology.

Cruise can pull a sustained 9G. Truss can barely pull a straight face.

Tom Cruise vs. Jackie Chan? That would be a debate I’d tune in for. The effect on government policy would be in no way worse regardless of which one won.