It Takes Two, Baby...
Him and Agent GASHFOP, Our Man in a Married Woman
https://twitter.com/stevebakerhw/status/1483500934068113413?s=24
Here is Steve Baker MP saying that BoJob had been “bounced, using a leak” into the lockdown by someone who supposedly shat themselves after looking at Ferguson's "bowl of angel hair pasta" model death projections or rather, the notorious prediction curves that Fergie’s model did literally shit out “…and they were wrong,”.
Note: if the first man Baker is talking about is Hankycock, it begs the question of whether the man who was pulled out of Africa before he even got out of Heathrow (“it was a technicality, guv”) was motivated by his WEF ties to initiate lockdown to achieve his masters’ political and financial ends, rather than just by simply shitting himself while stood on a map of Great Britain.
When you consider what this means for the structure and capability of government and Cabinet, and its data, evidence, advice and oversight structure it could mean one thing:
Two people is basically all it took to get everyone in the UK locked in their houses.
Can that actually be true?
It could also mean that Fergs, via SAGE - in a time of recommended high levels of hand hygiene - perhaps briefed the Cabinet by smearing something unsanitary across graph paper then telling those in attendance that that was what would happen to the G8 nation.
But Baker himself stated that the PM called him at home to discuss the matter, whereupon Baker gave the PM advice:
I’ve put it on the record before… Before we went into the 2020 lockdown [Prime Minister Boris Johnson] called me. I was amazed to be at home and have the Prime Minister of the UK call me.
“Steve, I’ve been shown death projections, four-and-a-half thousand people a day and the hospitals overwhelmed.”.
I gave him two pieces of advice.
First, “if you really believe that we’re going to have 4,500 people a day die, you better do whatever it takes to prevent that happening,”, which is not advice I think anyone would have expected me to give but that’s what I said.
And secondly, “for goodness’ sake, go and challenge the advice - the data,”, which is why Carl Heneghan… Tim Spector and I, whether in person or virtually, were seen in Downing Street and were there to challenge the data.
By Monday, Carl Heneghan had taken the wheels off those death projections, by which the Prime Minister, disgracefully, had been bounced using a leak into the lockdown. This is absolutely no way to conduct public policy.
Steve Baker MP
So even though Baker, Professor Heneghan and others who were not in SAGE did go to challenge the data and advised the PM that he should do that, did anyone ask exactly how the data and the death projections were produced, before initiating lockdown?
Did no one in that room asked Fergie if they could check whether he had sat on the crapper and “worked it all out with a pencil” or used some kind of respectable and more sanitary tools?
It may appear that no one in SAGE or the Cabinet briefings checked what was in the Fergster’s U-Bend and in the coding of his epidemiological model before a leak supposedly forced the PM’s hand. If they had, they might have discovered that:
His toilet was backed up, and not in the data archival sense;
He had no pencils within reach of the toilet;
What was in his U-bend was a perfect molecular and DNA match for what was in his model.
Public criticism and analysis of Ferguson’s actual model i.e. the engine that created the death projections, only surfaced after the UK had abandoned longstanding medical knowledge and pandemic management plans. Surely quality checks on the decision-making tools in use by government should have happened before the UK entered global lockstep with the Gates WHO plan of:
abandon all prior knowledge;
abandon the medical definition of “case”;
remove rigour in establishing cause of death;
mislead the general public on terms, definitions and classifications and pump out meaningless and over-inflated “counters” that further mislead them;
do all these things for which there is no scientific evidence of efficacy or medical justification (PCR testing, asymptomatic testing, NPIs); but
which come with massive, massive bills from the private sector and for UK citizens.
Source: Institute for Government analysis
Neither of the two people Baker is possibly and definitely referring to were capable, in the end, of performing what most others expected of them in their roles. One was possibly top government, the other had access to it and influence over it through SAGE.
Are agents above the law?
MI5 policy 'gives agents legal immunity to commit serious crimes'
The latter person, Our Man in a Married Woman, nipped out during his own recommended lockdown for a shag that was in direct contravention of his own model and the “laws” that it spawned that made going out, getting on any form of public transport, walking past people and shagging one or more organisms (simultaneously or in isolation) dangerous, if not life threatening, for oneself and others. His actions also ran the risk of making some people in the NHS have to stop drinking tea. For a while. Determining which of those things was really “the bigger crime” will be the essential focus of a 7 year inquiry that will start sometime in the next decade and reject any evidence that enables a meaningful conclusion to be drawn. Some form of apology will be breathed down a broken phone line from Havana. Again.
After successfully executing the top secret Operation DangerPoke under a codename of GASHFOP, Our Man in a Married Woman stole safely back over his garden wall and into his slippers to keep guessing to the Cabinet through a patchy Zoom feed. Consistency is key in his game, and he is still consistently wrong. But like all good leaders, he should upskill others around him and this he has done, leaving behind the same capabilities in SAGE. However, SAGE’s numbers look remarkably similar to those contained in Imperial’s modelling on scenarios for COVID-19 over autumn and winter 2021. So if he’s resigned from SAGE, did he forget to leave the Zoom meeting and turn off his webcam? Maybe, just maybe, GASHFOP is still dedicatedly employing his “expert” (at being consistently wrong) tradecraft to sneak into places he may not actually be wanted for the ongoing confusion good of private sector financial interests this great nation. Dedication is what you need, if you wanna be a lockdown breaker. Oh yeah.
GASHFOP’s legacy of a Bent Fergwank
GASHFOP’s notorious but still employed (!), model curve shape is now known as a "Bent Fergwank": always way too steep; way too long; way too thick; far too much area below. Always drawn with a rare and special crayon (Amazon, £2.09) that causes the Bent Fergwank to literally disappear when exposed to peer review, backtest or any attempt to recreate it.
Source: Sage scenarios vs actual: an update
One can never, ever get closer than 5% to anyone's vague memory of a disappeared Bent Fergwank, and to do that one has to just draw one’s best guess from memory, using one’s non-dominant hand, while wearing a blindfold and biting on a 12-volt battery, with a crayon literally 20 times thicker than the rare original. That process must then be repeated 20 times using any implement at hand that can make a mark. A sliced boiled egg qualifies and so does a well-buttered toast soldier, provided that it is smeared widthways. Finally, one must attempt to average out all of this before claiming success in having made a Pseudo Bent Fergwank. By the time that’s done, no one else will have any memory whatsoever of the original Bent Fergwank and are therefore guaranteed to agree that it was all successful work. Well done, everyone!
Italian food: a WMD that can devastate nations
The UK Government initiated the most devastating domestic policy in the history of the UK, all based on GASHFOP’s “bowl of angel hair pasta". He took that bowl in and out of SAGE meetings and no one bothered to check if the pasta was even properly cooked until after everyone in the UK was made to take a bite. He may or may not have actually left SAGE meetings, but he left his bowl in the room and SAGE seem to still be eating angel hair pasta for their working lunches. None of them have noticed that nowhere else but Downing Street serves brown angel hair pasta. That’s not squid ink in there.
But the UK is a knowledge economy and that valuable product needs to be exported around the world. GASHFOP was sent on an international mission to save mankind armed with nothing but a HP-35 handheld scientific calculator. The best agents need the least gear and there’s kudos in being able put down (Tim) Spector with just a 10-digit LED display. During the course of that mission, GASHFOP tapped out numbers that he showed to world leaders. In the case of Sweden, the number GASHFOP guessed was 96,000, which he smeared out in a custom Bent Fergwank and placed on the wall of the Swedish Parliament, before continuing on to save other parts of the world. But when Father Time himself subjected the Swedish Bent Fergwank to a backtest, it instantly began to fade and all that the Swedes were left with was Dr. Anders Tegnell showing the number “8000” on the screen of his iPhone 11 Pro Max as he tucked in to his usual working lunch of Köttbullar.
Hot off the press:
Overall, our meta-analysis fails to confirm that lockdowns have had a large, significant effect on mortality rates. Studies examining the relationship between lockdown strictness (based on the OxCGRT stringency index) find that the average lockdown in Europe and the United States only reduced COVID-19 mortality by 0.2% compared to a COVID-19 policy based solely on recommendations. Shelter-in-place orders (SIPOs) were also ineffective. They only reduced COVID-19 mortality by 2.9%.
Studies looking at specific NPIs (lockdown vs. no lockdown, facemasks, closing non-essential businesses, border closures, school closures, and limiting gatherings) also find no broad-based evidence of noticeable effects on COVID-19 mortality. However, closing non-essential businesses seems to have had some effect (reducing COVID-19 mortality by 10.6%), which is likely to be related to the closure of bars. Also, masks may reduce COVID-19 mortality, but there is only one study that examines universal mask mandates. The effect of border closures, school closures and limiting gatherings on COVID-19 mortality yields precision-weighted estimates of -0.1%, -4.4%, and 1.6%, respectively. Lockdowns (compared to no lockdowns) also do not reduce COVID-19 mortality
Let’s just put the above into the context of not just “the pandemic” but the time before Covid-19. Consider:
No prior epidemic or pandemic (howsoever defined) resulted in any actions of the kind and on the scale that have been taken nationally or globally during Covid;
If there is no evidence of beneficial effects of any NPIs, lockdowns or SIPOs as a direct result of research only in the Covid period (when all of these things have been done globally), then there was NO evidence of beneficial effects of these things BEFORE Covid;
Therefore, NPIs, lockdowns and SIPOs have literally been made up during Covid and executed globally on the basis of zero knowledge of any beneficial effect. Proof of this is available in other sources that existed pre-Covid, including speeches given by Chris Whitty himself and the Event 201 recommendations report.
Two people is basically all it took to get everyone in the UK locked in their houses on the basis of literally zero evidence of benefit and totally invented modelling numbers that have been and remain constantly wrong.
Can that actually be true? Does it really just take two?