Braindeath
This is going to go on for a lot longer than Covid
Let’s break this down.
“There are millions of options for neo pronouns.”
That, in itself, could be problematic when it comes to human communication. It’s possibly inaccurate as well, because there literally aren’t millions of options. There aren’t millions of words, for a start. Unless someone tries really, really hard to start inventing hundreds of thousands of new ones, then tried even harder to get them to stick. Then again, pronoun champions are flocking to this business.
“I’m just gonna do some of the popular ones.”
Since when was “doing pronouns” a thing, outside of English class? Sorry, this person is giving us a lesson in how to use pronouns and how to use newly invented ones. OK, maybe I’ll learn something. Listen in.
“Start with ‘it.’”
Is “it” a new (neo) pronoun? No. This person doesn’t even know that. They’ve just undermined their credibility. Despite that, the fundamental mistake they are making is to believe that it’s a good idea to “create some content” telling English-speaking people how to use “it” as a pronoun in a sentence.
“Hi, it would really like a vanilla cone with, err, chocolate sprinkles and it would really like it in a bowl with a spoon. It’s just less messy that way. Alright, we appreciate it.”
What is our teacher assuming about us, its students? That we need a general lesson in existing pronoun use to the extent that three sentences are required? If you want to be referred to as “it”, my linguistic capability is sufficient as it is, thanks.
A vanilla cone is a self-contained, edible food package. Chocolate sprinkles go on the cold stuff and generally hold fast quite well. For some reason, it needs that well-proven package in a bowl, with a spoon, to reduce mess. Am I wrong to feel like I’ve just taken crazy pills? I have never seen anyone, of any age, eat an ice cream cone from a bowl, using a spoon. Basic mechanics suggests to me that the combination of a blunt spoon and an ice cream cone would result in more mess than using an ice cream cone in the way originally intended.
Have you ever asked for this combination and then felt compelled to justify to your server why you want it like that? You know, just in case the server is too dumb to get it or, more likely, considering telling you to “get out”?
Here’s where the tricky bit comes in. What’s going in the bowl? The person eating the vanilla cone and sprinkles, or the cone? What’s less messy? The ice cream cone in the bowl with a spoon, or the person being referred to as “it”? Who or what is appreciated? The cone-eater-to-be, or something else? Hmmm…
I love the added realism that “Alright, we appreciate it,” brings to this otherwise hard to grasp example, but it actually serves to cloud the whole issue somewhat.
As for the last half… “hu/hus/hum.” I can’t be arsed to type this out.
People occasionally complain about mansplaining. This video has got to be levels worse than that, because it’s delivered in such a patronising style by someone who’s flying by night.
I cannot believe that people take themselves seriously in this field, take this field of nonsensical linguistic perversion this seriously or think that people don’t understand pronouns, even if they are totally made up and not used by anyone sane. Then again, half of the developed world injected themselves with junk they didn’t understand because they saw people dressed as nurses or doctors doing dance routines in empty hospitals.
I know, for a fact that you know how to use my preferred pronouns of “schleeptz/bwlaeeiippt/nnnhhhaaaaaaaa”. I know you don’t need an instructional video centred around fictional ice cream scenarios. I also know that you may struggle with the accompanying, simultaneous expressive dance moves that must accompany each of my pronouns, but I have the decency to reserve those instructional videos for the appropriate time when they need to be shared on an individual basis. But in case you are curious, this is how I expect to be referred to:
Welcome to the Age of Stupid. Don’t bother fastening yours seatbelt for landing. If the bod doing the flying has any sense, they’ll plough in and do us all a favour.
Once, in 2019, I was at a party. As 15 people sat around and conversed, I said to the group that I have a special pronoun that I developed myself, because none of the available pronouns fit me. The room grew quiet. I explained that as a woman who Dresses Like A Dude but Thinks Like A Biddy (ie a Grandma), I chose the pronoun DLADTLAB. If you say it right, a little bit of spit forms in the corners of your mouth. The room went quiet. I just kept repeating DLADTLAB, DLADTLAB....you could've heard a pin drop, till one person started laughing. Then we all were laughing. Ah, good times.